Last week one of my closest friends let me know that for personal reasons he could no longer be an usher in the wedding. And my first reaction, I am sad to say was to be very very angry and hurt.
Ryan was awesome about it (called me and told me he was taking me out to dinner to cheer me up), and my mom functioned as personal therapist extraordinaire once again. (I really don't think I could plan this wedding without her expert therapizing.)
And basically what she reminded me of was: While it is totally acceptable to be hurt and angry and frustrated (yay validation!) just because someone could not be present at the wedding didn't mean they didn't love me. Case in point: my older brother will very likely not be able to attend the wedding (thanks Army, for sending him back to Iraq... boo). But I am not angry at him for choosing to be in the military! So I can accept the love of my friend, even though he does not think he will be able to be in or at the wedding.
the family except Dad last Christmas: me, Ryan, Mama, Mike, Mary (MOH), and Katie (bridesmaid)
So Big Planning Lesson #1: Just because my wedding day is important to me (and I want to share it with the people I love most in life!) doesn't mean that it's a good time for everyone else. And that doesn't take away from the love I have all around me!
(In light of this, I did call and apologize to my friend, and tell him that I loved him at the wedding, or at home! So for now, there is peace again in friendship land.)
2 comments:
it's hard to not have everyone be as happy about your day as you are and totally understandable for you to feel upset! i say just throw a fit and get the negative feelings out there so you can move on!
That's a great lesson learned, and a great reminder for the rest of us. Thanks for that post!
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